Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
