Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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