Will you blow on my dice?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
