I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
