I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You're completely useless in the revolution.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
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I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
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I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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