you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The air taste purple.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
