There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
