Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
