There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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