I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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