I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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