I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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