You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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