Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
