we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
