remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
