RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
