Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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