i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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