Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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