While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
