She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
