dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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