Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have aggressive nipples.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
