Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
