I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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