I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He passed out mid-signature
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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