Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize