I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
