Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
