Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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