Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
