actually, I'm a sock model
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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