I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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