smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize