Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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