all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize