im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
