Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
