I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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