Can i not drive my cunt home
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
