the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
