she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
