oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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