I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
