I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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