he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
