Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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