I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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