he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
