I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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