I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
