Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize