He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
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