help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize