I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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