i permit you to call me
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
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Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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